Today was trying. Very trying. Work was unbearable…I’m waiting on the good that was promised.
They make me sick. I’m trying real hard here people. I’m working out, I am trying my damn hardest to eat right and then all these people walk into the Communication Building and are just in amazing shape and it pisses me off because these are the same people I see eating their weight in fatty material food and all I want to do is run up to them and be like
“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!?”
…Hi I’m gonna get back to doing something.
Peace out mothertruckers
Life isn’t easy for anyone. We can not predict what will happen next anymore than we can predict the weather the next day (seriously what’s up with this weather?) To quote Condoleeza Rice in her speech in the DNC Convention 2012:
We are not made by our circumstances
Lately there is this student that is in COM Law with me and Multimedia Communication who has gotten into a rut and has ended up missing the last three weeks of class.That is kind of the most important part of the semester to be in class. Just saying. Anyway, he wants my help constantly and from working at Olive Garden, tutoring six different students and keeping up with their schedule, and starting my temporary job at the UNA Bookstore, that is at the least of my worries. When I do help him I expect him to actually show up to class. But he doesn’t. That’s a slap in the face for me. His excuse is that he didn’t want to get out of bed that day because he was too sad.
Okay, as someone who has survived what seemed like my darkest times to date, and I have been through some shit, and someone who was greatly depressed because of friends who turned out be assholes (actually just one but that’s against the point) I know exactly what it feels like.
With that being said, I know what all I miss out on because I let it get the best of me and control my life. I’m not saying that I have fully gotten over everything but, staying focused on what is important is the one of the things that is getting me through all of this.
There is nothing and I mean nothing in this world that will keep me from getting to where I know where I’m suppose to be. No grades, no people, no losers trying to act all big and bad to me about their life and how they think it’s better than mine (bitch please I’m a senior in college about to graduate) will stop me from my goals in life. Because in the long run I know that all this bullshit that is going on will fail in comparison to what I really want in life.
Getting there is half of the job. I give everything I have each day because I know when I lie my head down at night to sleep even if it is for just four hours, I know that I did the best I could that day and I survived another day.
Everyday I’m getting stronger against assholes like people than ran my emotions in Memphis. It took a while to get to it but, I knew I would eventually.
Kick ass and don’t let anybody ever get you thinking that you can’t do something that you know in your heart that you are suppose to do.
Peace out mothertruckers,
It’s hard to believe that this time last year I was still at Northwest waiting for graduation to come around. Now its a year later and I’m waiting for these next two semesters plus a summer internship to come around and be done so that I can graduate with my Bachelor’s Degree. Can you believe it? This time next year I’ll be a college graduate with a degree that I can actually do something with!
Because my new minor is Political Science I am constantly around the Frat guys and their female counter parts..I guess you could call them the sorority girls since that is what they are…Anyway! They really are just a tight knit community and all the closeness and sharing and blah blah blah makes me sick. However, I have never wanted to be apart of something more! I want to be a Greek so bad I’d do anything!
Um I just confessed that online didn’t I?
That’s right my dear followers I’m listening to The Hills while I study for my Communication Theory mid-term tomorrow. I decided that the 12:30 a.m. mark was a good break time for me. Granted that Lauren Conrad’s apartment in Season 1 could fit two of my apartments in it, her life and mine have a lot of the same things going on. The bad influence of friends that I have but who I still love are Heidi in The Hills series. Well so far I have no idea about this show. I actually looked up this show on Netflix after watching the Family Guy episode where Brian hooks up with Lauren Conrad.
Anyway, If I get through this week full of Mid-terms my freak outs will end until I get to the week of finals. Ugh finals. Can’t believe that hopefully college for me will be done a year from now. It’s kinda scary once you think about it. Regular nine to five job, writing stories and sleeping and actually maybe possibly having free time actually on the weekends to do…well..I don’t know yet haven’t thought that far ahead.
Lately, the thought of graduate school has entered my head again. While I don’t want to teach at all…at all however, it would be nice to be the first of the Whaley grand kids to actually have a degree in something. I mean let’s look at my cousins in order of likability: Dustin, is a lifeguard at a resort in Maui, Shandi, is a manager at a restaurant, Mikey and Jay reproduce…constantly, and Keegan rides motorcycles professionally…yeah they have cool lives I guess. They have less responsibility to worry about than I do. Well I mean Dustin saves lives for a living but, that’s not the point. Anyway, I feel like I’m working towards more than any of them have. Yet, I’m the last favorite…maybe because of posts like this. It is one in the morning and delusion is setting in.
Peace out mothertruckers,
Does anyone realize that we spend so much time trying to please someone else? Have the time of our waking hours are spent trying to get into someone’s good graces. Why do it? Why take the time to please someone else that we can’t even put ourselves first anymore?
I spent so much time trying to make others happy that I ended up not making myself happy at all. It was such a dark time for me that I forgot what I really wanted in my life and just worried about what others thought was best for me.
It is interesting when you change something that nobody thinks you should. But, you know in your heart that you should for your own good.
Some of us are just wandering through life. Some of us are trying to figure out what we are. Some of us are trying to get back to how we use to be. And some of us are trying to be anything but what we truly are.
As for me? I only want to be with you…
SO there’s this guy that’s in some of my classes with me who is convinced that he is going to be a great actor. I mean don’t get me wrong my dreams of being a singer are still going strong (thanks A.G. you blowhard S.O.B.) anyway, so this guy is a Broadcast Journalism major (yeah I’m going into detail because I don’t care have I ever?) Anyway, so we were talking about what he wants to do with his life and the fact that he is moving to L.A. in two years when he graduates UNA. Good for you!
However, and this is true even with my dreams and stuff, the odds are stacked against you greatly! I mean yeah, I know it is going to be a lot and I do mean a LOT of hard work. But, anyway this guy I am assuming (because I love doing that) is that he thinks that he is just moving out there and instantly going to kick ass.
Again I’m all for people pursuing their dreams. But, let’s cut the shit here and be real about how much work it is you have to be hardcore dedicated.
None of this bothers me as much as what happens next.
He starts saying stuff like it’s stupid to actually like journalism and writing and stuff. This part stops me in my fucking tracks guys. Like seriously? Just because you think you are meant for more doesn’t mean that what the rest of us are doing isn’t just as good. I am a singer/songwriter and very mediocre about it I get that. I admit that. But, that sure as Hell isn’t going to stop me from what I’m doing degree and career wise. I don’t knock other people’s majors thinking it’s stupid. I was talking to this other guy yesterday and his major is Molecular Genetics..I had to look up what the fuck it even was! However, he talked about it so passionately that it was just so good that he was passionate about it :). Anyway I have to go to Communication Theory now.
Peace out Mothertruckers,
I’ve never been a big fan of mind games. I dated this one crazy ass bitch in high school who was notorious for inventing the games of the mind. I don’t do well with that shit.
Things lately have just been so crazy. But looking past working a dead ass job where I barely make bank every week, going to class where I fall behind because of the fact that I don’t have cable and I’m still trying to get caught up, and being really stupid when talking to people of the opposite sex; it is nice to know that somewhere there is a silver lining just waiting…waiting intently to make itself known. When will it get here?
I don’t have that God complex, I definitely know where I stand. It isn’t even the thing that I like to do. I don’t like talking myself up, I hate being asked what I do and in turn responding by listing shit that I’ve done which isn’t a lot but, still I don’t want to sound like a conceited tool because I’ve spent so much time talking shit about people that are tools.
Actually I talk shit about a lot of things. I’m to much of a bitch thought to take people talking shit about me sometimes. That makes me a tool doesn’t it?
Some people apparently don’t want money. I hate those people. I always want money. So here’s the story…
T.W. who I work with is very reluctant to actually work once he is there. Don’t get me wrong I hate my job as much as the next college student but, at least I do it once I clock in and get my five dollars an hour plus tips. So when this guy walks in on Saturday night, all Hell breaks loose as he begins to bitch and cuss about how he doesn’t want to be there.
Now, admittedly I do the same thing…in my car in the parking lot of the restaurant. Once I get out of the car though, it is all smiles and bullshit until I clock out. Anyway, this guy is raising all kinds of Hell in front of guests and prompts the manager, S.C. to tell him to just go home.
Naturally, because he is such a horrible worker I jump at the thought that T.W. is gone forever. After S.C. asks us to all write statements about what we heard (I didn’t actually hear anything but, I gladly made something up) I patiently waited for them to fire him and us go about our night. Sadly, this was not the case. Apparently some people are very hard to get rid of like an obsessed ex or Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees.
The funniest part was is that T.W.’s girlfriend who also works with us wouldn’t even stick up for him which made me giggle.
So then S.C. comes up to us and says that the whole situation is confidential and that we should no longer talk about it.
In my mind I was like “Fuck that.” I brought it up every five seconds like a freaking egg timer.
Anyway that’s all for now.
Peace out mothertruckers,
The past few days I have been working my ass off. Like a lot. Some people at work don’t know how easy that have it. My job is so frustrating that I just can’t even fathom how happy I will be when I graduate college next year and am able to walk up to my General Manager and say “goodbye” to her and walk right out the door as I leave my apron on the floor.
Someday but, unfortunately not today or anytime soon. Not much to say about the past few days besides that. I’m off tomorrow that will be fun and will probably fly by dammit all.
Well I’m off to bed now.
Peace out mothertruckers
Yeah I now it’s been five days since I’ve posted but, you will get the Hell over it!
I’ve been extremely busy the past few days at school and I’m ready to just blow my fucking head off. And, it’s just the second full week of school! Damn! But, on the bright side I finally have internet at my apartment and, it is slowly starting to get cooler outside. Very slowly. Now here I am home from work and in bed being lazy and writing this. I’m so very tired. Nothing exciting happened this week except every time I open my mouth in my Communication Theory class I feel like a dumbass. Unlike the preppy smart frat guys who sit on my row who just know everything and it pisses me off!
Oh well, I’m dealing with the cards I’ve been dealt. However, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if things were different. What if my parents never divorced? What if I hadn’t failed Nursing School? What if I had never gone to Memphis in the first place? Would I still be the same way I am today?
I highly doubt it.
At the same time though, I couldn’t imagine myself any other way. I wish a lot that I was different; but then I wouldn’t be me.
Well that’s all for now I have a headache and I’m going to bed.
Peace out mothertruckers!
Well, not real sure what to say for this post. Things happen, sometimes they don’t work out like you think they should. That sucks ass doesn’t it? I think so. I mean you really will learn who your friends are during the event of things.
In the event of being completely broke my bank account is drier than fields during a drought (I’m from the south) and, that is very bad. I’m rambling, I don’t really know what to say mostly everyone who reads this already knows stuff that’s been going on…
I’m off to COM Theory.
Peace out mothertruckers,
Damn not having internet at my apartment sucks! Thankfully it’s getting installed September 4th Like a boss!
So my weekend was typical senior in college and living alone. Working. More working, and more working. I worked a double Saturday and continued working Sunday until I came to my apartment and passed the fuck out.
However, I figured out something today that made me happy in my pants. The loan money that was not used to pay for tuition and stuff will come in my UNA mail box soon in the form of a big ass check! And, that is what I’m gonna use to pay my rent for however long it will cover it. That way I can use my money I make at work to pay for other things like utilities and internet. See! I have a plan! In your face assholes who thought I couldn’t do this!!
And with that talk of independence, I have to call my mom and ask her how to cook…
Peace out mothertruckers